New Year's Wishes

With the new year, a new post. I've been holding off on writing a new year's message for many reasons, not the least of which is because this blog's been on the back burner for so long. Besides the lethargy of posting history, though, I haven't really been feeling the love and hope and optimism I see people around me struggling to maintain and enjoy. But the ice is melting, even as the snow blows and falls. I am remembering how to write and speak from my heart; I am enjoying sitting at the table with my honey at night, thinking and talking without purpose or deadline. I am slowing down, hearing the hearts of my children through rage and anger and frustration, holding the door open for them while they storm through the wall, senseless. I am trying.

For all of my people out there, may 2012 be the year your heart opens wide and your arms wider.
May all the food you eat fill you and make you grow.
May all the money you exchange in the world for services and needs and warmth leave room in your pockets for cold hands or spare change.
May we all learn to listen better, love critically, and fight harder.
May everything you touch bring you joy.
May all your suffering, which I know is a lot right now, lighten your load even as it fills to overflowing.
May all your risks embolden you, and reward you with the pleasure of true intimacy.
The world is sacred, and we are all divine. Dance with me, and if you're lucky, we'll sing.

Love, Critically

Recently I was having a little vacation with old friends, some of whom had never met my partner and husband, C. When asked to describe him I was kind of dumbfounded; we've been together for almost twenty years, where the heck do I begin? I tried by saying he's kind of tall, a little geeky, interesting... and then it just all seemed inadequate. That conversation mercifully didn't go anywhere, but it left me feeling kind of dumb.

What I meant to say was this:
That C. has heart. That everything he does is important, and with his whole self. That he is funny and attentive and loving and tolerant and flexible when I need him to be, inflexible when it's important. That he is an amazing parent, and I love how he loves me. His heart is as big as our world needs right now, and I'm glad I share it with him. He's persuasive when he wants to be, and a great person to have around when you're trying to reframe something important. He lets you remember the things that are essential and sacred, including my own peace and spiritual connection. He's not intimidated or afraid of gay or anything else. Thank god. That he's a radical thinker, a devoted partner, and an inspiring lover. That I am a better person in his shadow, and that he casts no shadow under my Sun. We are, as someone said long ago, a matching pair. I'll never be bored.

That should cover it.